Liberate

Surprisingly, I managed to wake up at 8am today. One of the rare moments I can proudly declare that yes, I've had enough rest and at the same time, am early for something. Usually these two conditions are in an inverse relationship you see, with the presence of one means the absence of the other. True story.

After blinking out the bright (yay!) morning sun, I instantly wondered why did I wake up before my alarm? Am I still a normal 20+ year old male? "Whats wrong with you man?" would be the exact words from any one of the one thousand two hundred and twelve alternate versions of myself.

So I looked hard and deep into my being, making sure I was still Me, you know? With a sigh of relief, I can safely say that thankfully, I was still good looking. Besides that obvious fact, I came to realise that not everything in me was the same. There were things that I've said, things I've done that I wasn't too proud of, whether it seemed right at that moment now faded into irrelevance as I reflected on the decisions of 20 years in this world. Of course there were great moments, and certainly some treasured memories, but unlike mathematics, they don't cross over and cancel each other out.

Random fact, I learnt that a curse is merely the absence of a blessing the other day. Just like darkness is the absence of light. It might be important one day!

Back to me, I thought that certainly the past doesn't disappear just because you want it to. Every word said cannot be truly taken back, every action done, cannot be undone. That's how we learn as humans, and that's kinda what we're here for, isn't it? To learn, who we are and how to live Life.

But that doesn't mean you can't change anything. Because the future is something every single person is capable of changing. The past is merely a result of what you make of the future. With this revelation, the world looked sunny, both inside and outside. There is a Plan and Purpose for me laid out by Jesus, and its refreshing to know that I can shape my future towards Him. Its the perfect plan for me, but that doesn't mean that I am perfect. There will be falls and stumbles, but the point is that you don't go back to the pebble that tripped you and sit on it, you look towards the finish line and make it your goal.

A fresh start always needs changes, and I am beginning to understand. LTC in about ohmygoodness 10 minutes, a quick bath and a short walk away, to look away from the past, to a purposeful future.

I wasn't early after all. -_-